Bar Jello Wrestling

Midget Jello Wrestling, Justin Bieber Lesbians & the Importance of ...

I had a pretty rough weekend. James’s older sister’s birthday was Saturday night and after a way over priced Hibachi dinner & cocktails, I wanted to hit up Ybor. I secretly planned on dragging Bub over to Orpheum after I buttered him up at a less-scene, more-low key spot first. Gaspars Grotto? Crow Bar? Maybe even G-Bar? Which will he choose….

That’s when we saw the sign “Midget Jello Wrestling 11 pm” outside of the James Joyce Irish Pub. In addition to being one of my favorite authors, James Joyce happens to be the best bar in Ybor, hands down.  Within 30 minutes my little sister, Grace & one of her friends had joined us. We did shots with the owner, Ryan, who despite frequenting this bar for a few years now, we’d never met. Dave Diggler (James Joyce’s resident little person) walked the bar dressed as Hulk Hogan, pouring Washington Apples into our mouths while we clamoured over each other, mouths open like baby birds. Sarah, my favorite bartender whose husband Adam can take a car bomb in 1 swallow sold me the long coveted James Joyce shirt that hung over the bar for $10. It was shaping up to be the greatest night ever… but I can’t remember anything else that happened.

From what I’ve pieced together through bank records, James’s shaky memory and a series of Hangover -esque pictures from my cell phone, we moved locations and had a quite few more rounds. Grace says at some point a lesbian resembling Justin Bieber asked me for my number & I apparently obliged and returned her compliments. I showed my sister’s friend Sherise all the variations of Long Island Ice Teas that are possible to order, then drank them. I bought some roses from a homeless man for James on my way to the girls’ room too.